Our Backstory
As the co-creators of this project, our friends often ask some version of, “how did you come up with this program?” In the late 2010s we were both having our own questing moments during the social and political turmoil of those years as well as facing the existential question, “now what?”
Decades earlier, both of us had enrolled in separate graduate psychology programs. And we had worked together professionally for many years facilitating workshops for people in business who were seeking more effective skills in their communication and cooperative endeavors.
(Betsy) After graduating in 1994 with a master’s degree in Applied Spiritual Psychology, I thought I had this topic covered and a piece of paper to prove it. Then an event changed everything. My aunt, who had also graduated with me from The University of Santa Monica, asked me, when she knew she was dying, to give her eulogy at her funeral. “You know - USM,” she whispered. After grasping at threads to figure out what she had been getting at, doing my best to represent her at her funeral, and wondering if I had accomplished what she wanted, I came home and began to pore over her university papers that I had inherited.
I started to tell David about my thoughts and my initial experience of lifting this veil from the complicated topic of “the soul.” I struggled for the words to explain my feelings, my inklings, and my suspicions about “life.” And what a joy—he knew what I was talking about, and he didn’t try to fix me. I’m a very disciplined person, but I would never have lasted on this journey had I not had a place to discuss my awakening with someone else. I had a lot of thoughts about thinking, my emotions were coming out in dreams, and the mystery and excitement in discovering a part of me, bigger and more expansive than I had known—well, it made all the difference when someone really listened. And since David was also examining his life, his being and soul, I was gaining from his experiences. We were soon talking about giving others a chance to look deeply into themselves and have a forum to talk about their whole selves, including their souls. Plus, creating a program exerted a light pressure on me to continue to grow into this world that, had I not examined, has always been with me—to find my way to access what I always suspected I had been missing.
(David) Though I’ve had many rich spiritual and religious experiences, my graduate work in clinical psychology didn’t show me how to unite psychology and spirituality—until I discovered Psychosynthesis. That framework has shaped my life and work as a psychotherapist, executive coach, and author, and I remain a persistent student of my own experience.
In the summer of 2022, while rehabbing from a bike crash, I noticed how quickly I blamed others for perceived inconveniences. Looking closer, I saw a reflex to brace and tighten whenever life got hard. I recognized the same constriction at home: impatience, quick judgments, and the assumption that my way was best.
The crash awakened a lazy self-awareness. I felt a clear call to change and committed to daily mindfulness—simply observing thoughts and feelings without getting swept away. That bit of distance created choice. I could be conscious of what I thought, felt, and did—and become less reactive.
I began to examine my habits. I’d assumed kindness from others would automatically produce kindness in me, and that others’ unkindness gave me permission to be a jerk. I had drifted from the values I cherish. Over the past year, while shaping this program with Betsy and rekindling my practices, I enrolled myself as “test subject #1,” applying every method we would teach.
The results have been tangible: more ease, more patience and compassion, and a renewed connection to essence and others. Staying true to this intention takes vigilance and humility, but it’s paying off with lots of joy.
Here we were, two friends credentialed in different fields of Psychology, retired from our professional endeavors, yet curiously, still seeking relevant ways to contribute to our communities and grow in our own lives. Perhaps we could create more programs on themes in social justice, communication skills, spirituality? Then it dawned on us. Psychology!
The word “psyche” comes from the Greek mythological goddess. Her name meant “breath, principle of life, soul.” And that perspective served humanity well for millennia. Then a few hundred years ago, with the rise of reason and humanism during the Renaissance, the human mind and behavior were seen through the eyes of science while the soul was relegated to religion. What happened to Psyche? Nowadays, the soul is rarely mentioned outside of the arts and religion.
Stimulated by the political, racial, and social polarization over the past several years, and noticing more and more candles on our birthday cakes, we both ventured into “what-if” conversations that tapped into the individual inner work we’d both been doing and the calling we both experienced to explore something beyond any place either of us had ventured.
After our many conversations, self-experimental activities, research into books and hundreds of YouTube lectures, and a lot of “soul-searching,” we have each experienced a surge in our appreciation for everyday life, on both the good days, which have multiplied, and the days when the waves in our personal oceans have been more turbulent. We know it is a lifelong practice, and we have much more to learn. We are excited to share both what we have discovered and to continue on our own journeys during which your explorations will no doubt be lifting us.
The primary attribute to engaging in this work of sacred engagement is the ability to step outside oneself for a moment and look back in as an observer. At the start of the program, we will introduce you to the daily practice of mindfulness.
“There are an infinite number of ways to practice mindfulness skillfully, and many different teachers and teachings to learn from. All are ultimately different doors into the very same room—the room of open-hearted human awareness. That awareness is a form of intelligence—an unrecognized superpower really. It is always here, always available to tap into, maybe even to take up residency in for extended stretches of time. Then life itself becomes the real meditation practice.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn